Finding Mom Friends is Just Like Dating

Scoping for mom friends has me feeling like I opened Pandora’s box, and I was not prepared for it. Landing the perfect mommy bff has proven to be far more difficult than expected. I’ve been thinking of just dropping a personal ad in the paper. Do people still do that? I imagine that it would read a little something like this;

“Mom of two boys seeking fellow passenger of the hot mess express. Must love dogs; house is always covered in fur; accepting of last-minute cancellations, because I’m lazy AF and often make plans before thoroughly thinking them through. Bonus points for fast food & beer lovers. Complaining about husband and sarcasm required. Yoga pants and headbands, preferred. Freshly bathed, optional. Inquiries, send a Snapchat.”

You would think that because I was now a part of the “I pushed a baby out of my vagina {or was sliced open and had one yanked from my abdomen}” club, that I’d be making new friends constantly. Wrong! I see a mom at the park, and initiate conversation. I either get a bite, or a half-ass smile followed by, “lets go play over here, honey.” I want to walk up and say, “We are LITERALLY going through the exact same thing here! We are both sleep deprived, drinking cold coffee {I don’t drink coffee but I always feel obligated to say that I do} and we spend our days wrestling with toddlers who somehow have the strength of grown men. Just give me a chance!” Instead, I turn to my toddler to demonstrate that Daniel Tiger does in fact, apply to the real world, “When a friend doesn’t want to play with you, you can find something else to do.” {If you don’t know this song, Youtube it right now. Also, you’re welcome.}

What happens when you get a bite? You start to ask yourself the more serious questions. Is she going to judge me for letting my kids watch too much tv? Is she going to judge me for eating too much fast food? Basically, are we on the same page in the same book as far as parenting goes? If so, then I start to look deeper. Would our husbands get along? Could I invite you both over for dinner? Would you be a hit at a family party? Always remember, finding mom friends really has nothing to do with children. Actually, as long as your kids are roughly the same age as mine, they qualify. The real kicker, is whether or not I see myself hanging out with you when your spawn are NOT around.

I truly don’t think I was consumed with this much worry before my first date with Jason. Yet, I’m hit with sweaty palms and heart palpatations anytime I see a woman, hand in hand with a child, walk in the room. I think, “maybe she will be the one!” I imagine our kids frolicking around as we sit and chat, sipping on red wine {which I also don’t drink.} I picture that first introduction with our husbands, having each other over for pizza and beer-or perhaps something a bit more classy- either way, I am in deep, and expectations are high. Yet, nothing comes of it. Then there are the high school friends who are starting to pop out kids. I get so excited each time I see a pregnancy announcement on my Facebook feed. The thought of “mom friend” immediately takes over. I want so badly to reach out and say, “Oh Em Gee! Welcome to the club! Want to be besties? We weren’t close in high school, but who the hell cares!” but instead I remind myself not to be a creep, and I settle for liking their post and moving on.

I can’t be the only twenty-something millennial mom who is struggling with this. Right!? Humor me. I’m not asking for a lot here, just a down to earth, laid back lady friend who is down to spend a day watching Daniel Tiger, but at the same time loves to get dressed up for a night on the town. My point is, I’m flexible, so hit me up.

12 thoughts on “Finding Mom Friends is Just Like Dating

  1. Wow! Your post is so on point it’s eery 😂I’ve been struggling with this since having Autumn. Stay at home mom is no joke and can feel isolating.. “Finding mom friends is just like dating.” Perfect. Loved your want ad. Thanks for the good read. ☺️

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  2. Me too!! I’m hesistant on making mommy friends for these reasons so I stick with close relatives aka people I’ve always known. Although at the moment that’s not possible but the internet makes it work! Wanna be bestie mommies? Promise my kids watch too much tv too! Lol

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  3. I so wish things were different. I feel that if we didn’t live 2 hours away from each other, that this would be our lives! Even though I don’t need to be eating pizza and drinking beer (and could in fact stand to lose about 30-40 pounds…), I’d do it in a heartbeat. I suppose I just love beer and pizza that much. Love you xo

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  4. Your honesty and great sense of humor are bound to attract a great pal soon. They are all out there looking for you too. We all need a few of those special ladies in our lives to reassure us and NOT judge us. You’ll find more than one I’m sure.
    You’ve always got me. xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Haha I think about this all the time! Most of my friends here don’t have kids and aren’t even married yet. I wish I lived near you, my girls watching Daniel Tiger right now and making farting noises with her mouth while also being fussy because of teething!

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  6. This post nailed exactly how I feel about making mom friends. It’s scary and intimidating yet exciting when you meet a new mom! Feel like it’s dating but now you have some little ones that have to be accepted by others too. And sometimes that’s the hardest part because at times I’m scared at how my children will act or make an impression. Lol. Thanks for sharing this!

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  7. It’s hard to make friends in general at this point in our lives… but when you have a kid( or two or three) it’s even harder because you’re so much busier now!

    I know we live in different states, but I’ll be your friend! 🙂

    Like

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