A sh*tty situation…

Lincoln crapped in the tub.  Sorry for the lack of intro, but seriously, I’m still trying to get over what happened, forgive me.  Besides, is there even a nice way to say that your child took a dump while taking a bath?  Didn’t think so.

Also, I have a question.  Does this mean I am officially part of some underground motherhood?  Is there a plaque I get, or an honorary mention of some sort, because I think I deserve something!  I’ve changed hundreds of diapers {I have never counted, I’m just ball parking here} but there is something far more…slimy and runny, about cleaning up a bath time poop, am I right?

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?  I blame multitasking.  I had just started to drain the tub, and was right outside the bathroom, sitting with Wyatt.  After a few minutes, and knowing the water was long gone, I looked over to see Lincoln playing, quite intently.  {If I’ve learned anything as a mother, it’s to suck every freaking second possible out of bath time.}   I didn’t want to deal with a temper tantrum, so I left him.  There I sat, having somewhat of a proud mommy moment; both of my children were happy, at the same time, little did I know, one was playing with his feces.

After a solid 15 minutes, I finally got up, walked into the bathroom, grabbed a towel and approached the tub.  That’s when I saw it.  Everywhere.  Without any thought, I opened my mouth and screamed, “OH MY GOD, YOU SH*T IN THE TUB!!”  Tears, instantaneously.  I’m positive that if he hadn’t just emptied his bowels, that would have done the trick.  I stood there, cursing {under my breath this time} and debated what my first move should be.  I mean, is there even a right way to go about dealing with a bath time poo-mergency?  Couldn’t tell ya.  I snatched Lincoln up, bathed him in my bathroom, and left the rest to Jason.  Please, don’t feel bad for my husband.  I was in charge of scraping poo out from underneath tiny fingernails.  The duties were evenly distributed. {Haha..see what I did there?}

At least I can say it was a learning experience; Lincoln gets startled when someone shouts profanities at him, Jason is a SUPERB cleaning man, and as for me, well, I clearly suck at multitasking.  I’ll be sure to add it to my list of “things I should probably, but won’t, work on,” it’s quite the list, as I’m sure you can imagine.